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Fanfiction > Angst > Unrequired > Author: IldreenL Hits: 821
Disclaimer: If I owned Gravitation I wouldn't have to buy the manga... and my pocket would be thankful for it.

--Read and enjoy--


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Unrequited.
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It wasn't... like he had wanted it in the first place. It had just happened. Like the river that never stops flowing, his feelings had been changing inevitably, constantly, towards him.

At first he thought it was merely attraction of his personality, always optimistic, always smiling, always ready to do something more... something different. After a while he begun thinking it was because they were always together, and that it was only natural for him to feel the way he did.

But then... there was a point where he couldn't lie to himself anymore. Maybe he could still fool the others, but not himself. At some point he had reached and crossed that invisible line that divides close friendship and brotherly love with true love.

He passed through denial, through rejection and finally to acceptation. And it was harder and harder each time. Because from calling every other afternoon to talk and wanting to go out to have fun, he began calling almost every other day, wanting to go out just to be close, if only for a little while.

He welcomed him without any suspicion, because that was the kind of person he was. His open mind personality had always been one of the mayor reasons everyone was drawn to him, and like a fly to the honey he had been attracted as well.

There were times when he secretly and desperately desired he would notice, that he would reject him or fight with him. But he liked him and was utterly happy to have him as his friend. Other times he stared at him in the middle of the day, just wishing he could become his, and only his to love and care for an eternity.

Every now and then, they left town, and he waited until everyone was asleep to sat at the edge of his bed, observing him.

The way he smiled, even in his dreams. The way he hugged his pillow. The way his lips opened slightly, always so inviting, so tempting, and so desirable. The way he mumbled in his sleep, and sighed slightly when he caressed his face.

The way his naked chest moved as he breathed and, as he moved in his sleep, revealed itself almost mocking him, daring him to try, daring him to caress it, to kiss it, to taste him until there was nothing left of him. Those nights were a blissful torture, his biggest fantasy and his biggest nightmare.

Until finally, one of those nights, he had dared to touch him.

In ghostly caresses that didn't wake him up but made him shiver slightly in his sleep. Climbing the bed so slowly, reaching his face and almost tasting the flavor of his lips, almost crying in desperate need, divided between the fear of rejection and the desire to pleasure him in so many unthinkable ways that he could not, would not, resist him. To see the pleasure reflected in those beautiful eyes and hear him scream his name until the whole place woke up of from the panting noises from the bedroom.

After a moment, realizing what he was just about to do, he made a mad dash outside the bedroom, not caring about the noise, trying to run away from him, hating himself for what he had almost done.

He caught him in the hallway.

"Hey, what's going on? Are you ok?"

The worry in his eyes made it all worst. He wanted him so badly, but knew there wasn't a chance for it to happen...

"I- I just had a nightmare, that's it."

Shaking his head slightly, biting his lower lip and praying he wouldn't notice the tears that were already beginning to roll down his face, Suguru freed himself from his friend's grasp and kept walking down the corridor.

He heard the conversation going behind his back, but didn't dare to turn around.

"Hiro? What was that all about?"

He knew he was staring t him, he could feel his dark chocolate eyes, those eyes he adored so much, looking at him with an interrogative expression.

"... He just had a nightmare Shu, go back to sleep."

"Oh... ok."

And after a moment, the sound of two doors closing reached his eyes and he sighed.

No, he had never asked for it. He hadn't wanted to fall for him at all.


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A/N: More angst. Poor Suguru, he's the victim this time. And with Hiro!
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. I'll try something more cheerful next time.
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