imayb1		2005-05-02	id # 8894
First off, at the start of the anime/manga, Shuichi is 19 and Eiri is 22. Ryuichi is 31 years old and is hardly classified as a "boy". If you have only been "into" the anime for a week, I suggest you do a bit more self-informing before writing any more Gravitation. Secondly, just because songfics were banned at fanfiction.net, doesn't mean they will receive anyone's appreciation here. In terms of writing, your unmarked POV switching is confusing. The AU label is not license to change characters' personalities. Eiri is *not* a demonstrative guy. Eiri and Shuichi had what amounts to (fake) public sex on stage in front of a crowd, but Shuichi blushed over something Eiri said to him? Oooo-kay. Story-wise, it doesn't make sense for anyone to bang his head into unconciousness over the space of a three minute song and be out for the next half-hour with no side-effects. After he came-to, the bartender asked him 'what's the matter?' and poured him a drink! Not likely! What is with the sudden interest in his arch-rival's brother? That makes no sense, either. In short, your story is poorly written and unbelievable. First Gravi fic or not, you deserve to know the truth.

Maria		2005-05-03	id # 8900
OMG!!! XDXDXDXDXDXDXD

Anon		2005-05-03	id # 8906
It's not as bad as imayb1 claims. Believe me, I've read far worse on this site (some of them her stories, in fact). Just try to get better. I'd say you have potential.

HawkClowd		2005-05-03	id # 8913
I have to agree with imayb1 on this one. Although I applaud you for venturing out into a new fandom and trying your hand at new things, I believe you should research a fandom a bit before delving into it. Many aspects of the story are unrealistic and the characters are all wildly out of sorts with the canon -- and even their fanon -- personalities. I have no problem with the songfic aspect of the story, as that is a personal preference moreso than a story flaw. However, I think you should take a bit more care before writing -- and especially before posting -- a fic to a new fandom. Please continue to write, as experience is most always the best of teachers. ---Ren

This Sucks		2005-05-04	id # 8919
The Anon above is wrong. This is a piece of shit and needs to be removed until you get a clue about how to write. The person who gave you good C&C above is one of the best writers here. How dare Anon compare the crap you wrote with that quality work.

Anon		2005-05-04	id # 8921
Quite right that imayb1 is one of the more popular authors on this site. Also one of most pontificating, self-satisfied, and rudist to young authors who are just developing. She (Aja) is notorious for flaming constantly on this site, childish behavior which a middle-aged schoolteacher with kids really ought to be above.

Sliefoxx		2005-05-04	id # 8925
I'd say you have potential; but Hawk Cloud and imaybe1 are correct. It was completely unbelievable and I found that to be a major turnoff. Don't let yourself get run off by a few negative reviews but also try to think this out better so you don't get them in the first place. As for imaybe1/Aja-sensei flaming people: I've never seen her flame, I've seen her get understandably irritated but I suggest you do a bit more self-informing before writing any more Gravitation is not a flame. This is a piece of shit and needs to be removed until you get a clue about how to write. is. Good luck and I do hope you continue writing.

Morbid Romantic		2005-05-04	id # 8929
"Story-wise, it doesn't make sense for anyone to bang his head into unconciousness over the space of a three minute song and be out for the next half-hour with no side-effects." No, it doesn't make sense. But, are we forgetting that these fanfiction are based on an anime and manga? It's not possible for Shuichi to pull a big battery suit out of thin air and wear if for two frames, but we love the storyline anyway, and don't knock Maki Murakami for doing it. So, why flame a fanfiction author for doing the 'impossible' in a fandom where the impossible happens with each new track, in her writing? "In short, your story is poorly written and unbelievable." If you don't like stories that are unbelievable... why do you like Gravitation? Big Mecha Panda's can't walk around New York, and men can't jump and fight on airplans flying through the sky. I do agree that you should research the fine details of Gravitation better, and stick more to the characters real personalities. Eiri would NOT get on stage. He's barely the talking type, let alone the getting up on stage for a public display of affection type. He barely ever shows affection to Shuichi alone, I don't see him doing it in public.

AiYasha		2005-05-04	id # 8930
ummmmmmm i'm kinda scared to review but i just wanted to let u no that i read it hehehe if u want my opinion e-mail me =^.^=

weeeee		2005-05-04	id # 8931
Oh dear, someone here can't take a concrit. Just a little something to keep in mind...writing fan fiction does not mean you have the right to do whatever the hell you want to do with the characters, you also have to respect the mangaka and the wonderful universe she created for us to play in. Mangling these characters beyon recognition and making them horrendously OOC would not be the best way to show your respect for her work. Also, I don't see how a person's opinion is worth less just because he/she is not a writer. It's like saying that you have to be a grand chef just to know what tastes like shit. I suggest you grow a thicker skin if you wish to post in a public forum. Afterall, we're not obligated to stroke your ego. Don't whine to us if we say your fic is crap, you set yourself up for this.

Duckie	fullmetalchibi@gmail.com	2005-05-04	id # 8933
Sorry so many people gave you flak. Writing is about constructive criticism... not bashing.

Anon		2005-05-04	id # 8934
Please do not take this to be a flame, but honest criticism. I found your response to be childish and immature. Your reasons for the quality of your story is not excuseable. First of all, OOC-ness is not an excuse for warping pre-established characters. If you want to take a character, that has already been develeoped and completely change his personality and behavior, why don't you just create your original story with your own original characters? This is suppose to be a Gravitation fanfic archive, meaning the stories should relate to Gravitation. Just using the names of the characters do not make it a Gravitation fanfiction. Secondly, if you just got into the anime, what made you think that you knew enough to write a story and post in a public forum where Gravitation fans are bound to be? If you thought you could post something like this without expecting any criticism from hardcore Gravitation fans, you thought wrong. Also, if you don't care what other people think, why do you post a story on a public forum? Yes, I think the person who went by "This Sucks" was harsh. However, imayb1 and other reviewers have pointed out important weakness in your story and writing skills. The fact that your response also had grammatical mistakes does not help your case. Besides working on grammar and editing, you also need to realize that writing a story is not just about putting characters through a serious of motions. You need to develope your characters emotionally, work on characterization, and actually have a plot. I think you can become a better writer, but I find your attitude less than acceptable. Please realize that this is not a place to be if you want hundreds of reviews saying that they love you and your story. A lot of talented writers, who put in large amounts of effort and time, post their writings here and your childish attitude has no place in such space.

locust		2005-05-05	id # 8941
If people bitch at an author, she has every right to bitch back. Who has the right to censor her or muzzle her? Nobody. And if you don't like her remarks, God, you people are overly delicate and touchy youselves. I don't find anything she says outrageous. Remember, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you?" Most of you honestly wouldn't like these reviews attached to your own stories, and none of your own stories are perfect, either.

Sliefoxx		2005-05-05	id # 8946
That's rich locust: using Bible quotes? With a few exceptions I haven't seen anyone actually flame this girl. Everything she wrote was understandable but still a bit imature. (I totally agree with you Anon). Unfortunately Zuri; you seemed to have posted a poorly written story amidst the current string of crap being shown here. You're getting the angry reviewers and a few who have habit of writing blatant flames without offering any support to help actually improve your writing. Fourth: I never said that Yuki was a demonstrative guy, and just in case there is a little thing called OOC(Out of Character). Fan-fiction is called that for a reason meaning that the fan can write a fictional story about whatever, it doesn’t matter. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. When you write a fanfiction you're taking a character that is not your own and placing them in a situation that is believable for that series, and making the character act in a manner that is within their personality. Keeping the characters IC is part of what makes the more popular writers here popular. Along with a good story line, writing and several other elements. If you're serious about writing, and even if you're not: please remember this as a fact. Some OOC is permitable, but you damn well better be able to cover it up with decent writing. OOC is something even I can't stand, and you have yet to prove yourself a good enough writer for me and many others to be leiniant of the flaws you've already demonstrated. Work on it; everyone has the ability to get better at what they do.

---	---	2005-05-05	id # 8947
She (Aja) is notorious for flaming constantly on this site, childish behavior which a middle-aged schoolteacher with kids really ought to be above. Some people never learn... Aja (imayb1) isn't notorious as you put it, for flaming. She gives CC to pepole, like you, and try to help them as best she can. Seven: News flash! The story doesn’t have to make sense. Just like you said a story is all it is, if you care about the facts of the story go read another one. Woah woah woah.... A story has to make senes! Where do you get off saying it doesn't? If it makes no snese, then it isn't worth reading. All stories need a plot. Also... First: Okay, at the start of the story I mentioned that I didn’t know their exact ages, so I just guessed by how they looked to me, and I said and I quote “I just got into this anime a week ago” how the hell was suppose to know that Ryuichi is 31 year old at the start of the series. Look, before you even consider writing in a fandom, do some frickin reasearch! I did! I went to Yahoo! and Google and got the info I needed before I considered writing in this fandom. If you plan to write anymoore in this fandom, you had best study it. All in all, I think you should apoloigize to Aja for saying she was notorious for flaming. That's rude. And besides, if you read the updates... "NO *PERSONAL* FLAMES, INSULTS, ATTACKS, WHATEVER." Which you violated...

Victoria		2005-05-05	id # 8960
I'm reading all this with a sense of amazement and wonder. For the past few weeks I've been following the latest updates, and am just astonished at how many writers are being attacked. Honestly, it really does seem like a bunch of crazy vampires need to be pried off of the backs of these poor, hapless teenage writers who just want someone to enjoy their story. If you don't like their work, don't review them so viciously you suck their souls dry. You all know who the sort of person who writes fanfiction. They tend to be the sort of introverted, bookish teenage girls everyone picks on at school. One of them posts her first, trembling efforts here at this site and what happens? Wham! You're just another jerk in her already miserable day. If you shred somebody for writing Gravi, you're in danger of making them HATE Gravi, HATE writing, and lose all sympathy for gay people and the problems gay people have, IF this is how they're treated by persons SYMPATHETIC to gays, for God's sake. As someone who loves Gravitation, I think that's a major crime.

Anon		2005-05-05	id # 8962
All right you guys, you win. You're right, I shouldn't have said that to Aja. That comment about her writing was a mean and unfair comment, but she just made me so mad. I apologize. And I apologize to Zuri for getting caught in the middle of this. It shouldn't have happened to you. Sorry you're getting such rough handling from reviewers, but I always thought nobody really cared anything about the new writers on this site. No one ever protected them from flames. It was only when the moderator's personal friends got attacked that she ever decided to do anything, which is unfair.

anahita	yuki@gurabiteshiyon.net	2005-05-05	id # 8964
Dear Anon, Please email me directly if you have any problems with anybody here or with how the site is run. I'm guessing that you left this latest review because you saw what I posted in my LiveJournal today, and let me assure you that all the proposed changes are quite the opposite of what you are assuming. The changes are to make it easier for people to have some control over their reviewers so that they don't have to deal with hostile reviews if they don't want them. This has nothing to do with who was attacked in this round. I just see a problem and I want to deal with this situation in a way that will benefit the majority of users on this site. Hell, leave an anon comment here if you don't want to email me: http://www.livejournal.com/users/kaliflwr/117043.html?mode=reply

Ene	kip@antisocial.com	2005-06-16	id # 9765
haha!! that was really funny. i made up a silly tune for the song, and now i'll be singing it all summer! that was great!

DyingAngel		2005-07-17	id # 10480
WOW... lol... loved the song,

kamly		2005-07-26	id # 10705
LOL... haha that was realy fun.. I have a litte trubbel seeing Eiri do that ;P But it was really fun *laughing my heart out*

shady gurl		2005-08-18	id # 11270
omfg lmao, i luv that song! that was the best part of eurotrip lol.

Kele		2005-09-01	id # 11470
Erm.. That was very strangely out of character.. Yuki would never sing on stage like that.. and Ryuichi isn't a whore. Suguru plays the keyboard, not drums.

KYAUNA		2005-10-05	id # 12093
HELL No

4thDburn		2005-10-10	id # 12210
ermm... i've been reading the reviews for this fic and well, i was a bit shocked o.O lotsa cruel people out there... 'shudders' i don't know really... 'twitching uncomfortably' the fic was written alright... and it was labeled as AU so it's just understandable that anyone could be the vocalist or drummer or whatever... afterall, it's an alternate universe. and the fic was funny! \(^o^)/ eurotrip rawks! but next time, you'll just have to spell it out in the summary that some characters may be a bit OOC so that no one would be enraged c: cheerio!

1Severine1		2005-10-28	id # 12682
haha! i had a good time reading th reviews...seems you got haters. anyway the whole point of this is that you can write whatever you want anyway you want...and if you dont like it, why leave a huge long review sayings a whole bunch of crap...anyways it was interesting but confussed me.

1Severine1		2005-10-28	id # 12683
haha! i had a good time reading th reviews...seems you got haters. anyway the whole point of this is that you can write whatever you want anyway you want...and if you dont like it, why leave a huge long review sayings a whole bunch of crap...anyways it was interesting but confused me.

Great		2006-09-01	id # 25960
great

Funny		2006-09-01	id # 25962
I don't know which I found more amusing; the story or the reviews.

yukinshuichi4eva	tennisanddancechick@hotmail.com	2006-10-10	id # 27271
I thought that the idea of the story was funny, but Eiri and Ryuichi were both grossly OOC. Also, you need to work on your phrasing and basic grammar structure, and then try again. Don't rush the story and try to do some more delving into the manga and anime before writing more. Shuichi: ages 18-21 Yuki: ages 22-25 Ryuichi: ages 31-34 That's a rough estimate of ages through out the manga series...it's a bit different in the anime since Shuichi's high school life is never explored.

bloodpreitess		2007-01-03	id # 29872
omg that was so hilarious i was laughing so hard i was crying isnt that song off of euro-trip except its ' scotty doesnt know' or somthing like i give you a 10 for creativity and funnyness i made up my own song its a knock of version of 'pina colada' its called "penis collasis' i made this up with my brother while we were skating on the soapy tiles on the kitchen floor and running into the walls( i even sang it to my parents and the thought it was funny as hell) keep up the good work

bllodpreistess	girlwrencher@cs.com	2007-01-03	id # 29873
hey you guys need to calm down its their first gravi fic and so what if they only got into anime you should know better then to flame someone like that if you look at some of the other stories somtimes the personalities are switched and they do things that are somtimes out of character but if you read the manga how many of you would have thought that yuki would go to new york and get back Shuichi anyhow isnt this why they they create these fan sites to let us express or ideas for the love of god they have Shuichi commiting suicide and m-preg in here and i think that these are wounderful stories they even have a fic where Shuichi and Yuki switch personalities so come on guys did you you that 3 years ago i watched inuyasha and a year later found out it was anime (hell i didnt even know what anime was) so give them a break and let them do their fic however they want okay

juniper		2007-04-25	id # 31828
Is part of this inspired by the movie EUROTRIP? THAS GENIOUS!!

Jeanette	bbopinuyasha@hotmail.com	2007-04-25	id # 31829
Now look, Ive seen all the negative reviews you've been recieving. . .IGNORE THEM!!!!! The story was GREAT!!! (plus I LOVED Eurotrip!!!) People are just upset that they didnt think of the Eurotrip thing 1st(^_^)