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Reviews for Fragmented Intimacy
kmyth 2005-01-30 id # 7011
I'm really enjoying the fact that you picked up from the manga. Of course... at some point you may have to write about the trip to the zoo XD

The way you wrote Ryuichi was especially interesting to me. I liked how you gave hints to the more mature side to his character, including his possible interest in Tatsuha. I'm curious to see what Ryuichi is really thinking. He just has the stage presence of Ryuichi Sakuma about him, in spite of the childish actions. I don't trust the cute act!

Aja 2005-02-01 id # 7032
Sooooo good! I love the changes. As I said before, I love the way you write Ryuichi. He has maturity and depth lurking beneath his surface. I liked Tatsuha's 'fan moment'. I think it came out really well. I'm really glad you'll be writing more of this, too. ^_^ YAY!

Angrybee 2005-02-21 id # 7384
I think this is good, really good, perhaps one of the best Tats/Ryu stories I've read. The only suggestion I have is to change up the pacing a bit, on occasion, as it gets a bit repetitive which injures your otherwise fabulous prose. For the most part, you have a pattern of:

"Dialogue," says Ryuichi. Then a paragraph of Tatsuha's observations and thoughts on Ryuichi's words or movements.

"Dialogue," replies Tatsuha. Then there is a paragraph of Tatsuha calculating and executing his next move.

This goes back and forth through long sections of the story, and becomes too predictable. At times, you might want to have them banter without minutely analyzing every second. Occasional changes in pace will really liven up your story!

This is going on my favorites list, btw.

Aja 2005-02-24 id # 7434
I love this story. I like stories which are a little more on the realistic side and this one certainly fits. Tatsuha/Ryuichi isn't the most popular pairing, but you write them SO well! The story is progressing nicely. I am anxious to see how Ryuichi makes Tatsuha feel "real" music. I'm hoping you write from Ryuichi's POV, too.

My favorite line is: "The odd moods, sporadic intensity, and adorable cuteness formed a package Tatsuha wanted to unwrap." There are layers to that statement and it suits Tatsuha's mindset wonderfully. I also liked their touching. It's very subtle and yet the strictures of touching in Japanese culture make such gestures very thrilling. Good luck with the next chapter. I shall look forward to reading it. :D

bara-aoi sayinqt@aol.com 2005-02-25 id # 7462
OMG OMG OMG you must continue this!!!!!!!!! I love it so far, what a cliffy, i wanna know what happens. . .what did he mean??????????????????
*deep breath*
please, please get the next chapter out soon ^__^

Anon 2005-03-13 id # 7806
yeah! Totally awesome! I love the tats and ryu pairing!

goldenkinkogirl goldenkinkogirl@hotmail.com 2005-04-09 id # 8313
EEEEKK!!! HOW EVILY EVIL!!! U STOP HERE!?!!!!!!! NOW?sigh....talk about a cliffy....very nice tho^_^....ryu sounds soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hot^_^wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! u must update quuuuuuuuicccccklyyyy!!!!!!

Aja 2005-04-09 id # 8318
I enjoy reading this story so much! I love all the little details you throw into Ryuichi's thoughts and all his little behaviors. I like the way you write Tatsuha, too, he comes across as star-struck and something about him says 'teenager' in a way I have trouble expressing. Tatsuha may be mature for his age, but something about your characterization really captures his essential age and makes a very nice contrast to Ryuichi, who is a bit jaded and a little more world-weary. I like the way the story is going and the sense of reality about all of it. I'm very much looking forward to chapter three! ;D

bara-aoi sayinqt@aol.com 2005-04-14 id # 8415
OMG OMG OMG thats just wrong, how could you stop like that i want some hot kinkyness danmit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*ahem*
^__^ any way i love the story so far, please update as soon as humanly possible!!

Kristen 2005-04-17 id # 8487
oOo please update soon this chapter was GREAT!!!!

Pink Fire yuki_is_shuichis@yahoo.com 2005-05-07 id # 8989
WOOOOOOOOOW. Write more or i swear on all that's holy i'll rip your throat out! Lol im j/k but yeah its really good ^.^

Aya Honey pamediosa2002@yahoo.com 2005-05-13 id # 9138
I want more!! Really!! Please continue this story! I like it! Really!! And some lemon wouldn’t hurt either… *wick grin* ^-^;; V Please don’t take too long to up-date it!! Ja ne!!

harahettamonkeyking goldenkinkogirl@hotmail.com 2005-05-16 id # 9183
EEEKEKEEKEKEK!!! noo...this is the second time this week im reading the whole thing again!!! please update!!! please say u haven't abandoned this fic or something...coz u update ur other fics alot but u ignore this one which is probably ur best!!!!!!!!u must continue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or maybe u don have time, ne? just give some indication that ur not giving up on thins and i'll wait as long as u want (and not go insane with suspense) ^_^
beautiful fic, btw!!!
~~harahettamonkeyking

moon_lit_night neverknowsbest13@yahoo.com 2005-05-25 id # 9330
This is the first Gravi fic I've ever read, &it's awesome so far ^_^ I love how you wrote Ryuichi. Please update soon! :D

Jennifer swingsenior_jen@yahoo.com 2005-05-27 id # 9367
You simply muuussstttt update!!!!! You must!!!!! I love it so far. I like seeing the real Ryu and not the childish ditz he usually portrays. UPDATE PWEEEZZ!!!! No flames this time. hahahah no marshmellows for you!

Sakura cardcaptorcherryblossom@sailormoon.com 2005-06-02 id # 9483
...omg. I really, really like this story. Like, really. xD I can't explain it. It's really good though. Extremely. I don't know what else to say. But. Great job.

Tsuyomi 2005-07-08 id # 10249
*L* You can't stop there! I'm dying to see what happens next, heh heh. I like the way you characterize both Tatsuha and Ryuichi...you really got their personalities down well. :) Can't wait to read the next chapter!

Angrybee 2005-07-14 id # 10409
Quite fascinating. I think your writing is absolutely soon to be getting into the range of "quite phenomenal". The dialog is running at a more natural pace now, most definitely. Chapter three struck me as having an overabundance of adverbs in unnecessary places. That's okay, no crime there. Chapter four was utterly fascinating. I'm not big on smut, but I could see the elements you were trying to pull into the story, very intriguing how you attempted to blend the lightness of humor, the starkness of sexual passion, and the cruelty of Ryuichi's outlook on sex and relationships, in general. That's quite a challenge, and I think you tackled it admirably. You make some minor logical mistakes in your grammar, such as some dangling participles, minor colloquialisms, and some clauses in which action appears to be happening concurrently, even though it physically could not.

Nonetheless, I think very few people in this world are born with innate talent as far as writing goes, and I feel you may be one of those people. This is probably the longest review I've given all year, so I mean it when I say that I truly think you've got something here, and you should hold onto it as tightly as possible. Thanks again for the great story!

Aja 2005-07-15 id # 10441
(ch. 4) You know I loved this chapter. ;D As ever, I feel you capture the age difference between the two men in a very subtle, yet easily understood way. My favorite line: Kumagoro didn’t normally leave him alone with anyone. The rabbit trusted Tatsuha for some reason and Ryuichi felt a thrill of disquiet at the thought. It's so understated, but full of meaning. Wonderful stuff!

Anon 2005-07-16 id # 10459
Your apostrophe's are question marks so chapter four is painful to read. Excellent so far though.

Kristen 2005-07-24 id # 10682
YOU UPDATED IM SO HAPPY!!!!! i love this story SOOOO MUCH!! you did a great job keep it up and PLEASE update soon!! ^_^

PIKACHU GODDESS PIKACHUGODDESS@yahoo.com 2005-07-31 id # 10824
Wow. Intense. Getting a glimpse of the man behind the singer, both sides of a whole, truly interesting person, and of getting a view of what it must be like to be a horny teenaged boy in the prsence of his God. What a facinating trip, pun intended. I can't wait to see where this goes!

PIKACHU GODDESS
(o';'o)

PIKACHU GODDESS PIKACHUGODDESS@yahoo.com 2005-07-31 id # 10826
Okay, now you ARE going to finish this encounter, aren't you? WOW, the idea of Ryuichi as seme...! The thought of a Tatsuha-sized sundae is just..... MMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmm!!! I just love the way you let us readers inside of Ryuichi's head, thoughts so wise, yet so melencholy at times, how he bounces from wanting to keep Tatsuha, yet thinking that he can't, for fear of damaging him...from light to dark, from sky-high, to 6 feet under...all I can say is "WOW!"

I hope you write more to this story, yet, it could be ended here in perfection.

PIKACHU GODDESS

Fritz 2005-08-01 id # 10853
(I've had this on my recs for a while, yet strangely haven't reviewed it.) This story is really very amazing. You have a beautiful writing style, with wonderful descriptions that don't go over-the-top. Defintely one of the best Ryu/Tats out there.

I think Chapter Four is my favorite so far. (And no, not just because it was the smut, though I'll be perfectly honest and say that that was a good point. XD) The way you wrote the sex was breathtaking, with the symbolism of music and the pure sensuality. I also felt that having Ryuichi on top just made it even better. Too often he's portrayed as a whiny little uke, but you've blended his serious and childish moments in a way I've seen few do. And your Tatsuha is just perfect. I couldn't help but giggle whenever Ryuichi would think about lube and condoms, because it was just *so* in character.

Overall, fantastic. I'm really interested in finding out what happens to these two.

Saya 2005-10-26 id # 12654
Awsome! You definately should continue this story. I love it! ^_^

Freya 2005-10-30 id # 12736
Kya~! I absolutely LOVE this story!! Soo excited that you updated again! I love the turn it's taking, and your Ryu is just...fabulous! This story has been recommended many times to many friends ^_^ I can't wait for the next chapter!

Great job as always!

Aja 2005-11-01 id # 12793
(Ch. 5) I adore this story. You knew that already, though.

In this chapter, I love the interplay between Eiri and Tatsuha. Their banter is a lot of fun. The snark between Nittle Grapser's members made my laugh! The way Noriko and Ryuichi verbally ganged up on Tohma was terrific. I imagine that under different circumstances, the dynamics change and I enjoying seeing the honesty that such close friendships allow. :D

I can hardly wait to see what Tohma does next and if/how Ryuichi will counteract!

Shadowfox 2010-05-02 id # 37677
wow, tohma's a bit cold. What happens next?

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