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Reviews for Charade
bloskot 2004-05-31 id # 3142
I love the way Yuki is in this one!! Has the internal battle as usual, but I can't seem to get enough of it! LOOOOOOVVVVVEEEEEE it. Update soon...or I'll gouge your eyes out!

Kikvws Kikvws11@hotmail.com 2004-05-31 id # 3143
OMG! I LIKE WHERE YOU'RE HEADED! Pluss, my dirty little mind absilutely loves Hiro on Shu fics! In the descrip you say that he's keepin secrets, as in plural. Are there more comin or is it just the partic. juicy one where Hiro and Shu go-a-shaggin? Small request, tho, you should do a really deep flashback that details the Hiro on SHu action. My my my, I have an obsessed dirty little mind, eh?

Aja 2004-05-31 id # 3144
Short, nicely emotive. The extra-large paragraphs are kind-of hard to read, but your style is very readable and the story has a lot of potential.

Msume Msume1093@yahoo.com 2004-06-01 id # 3153
Hey you wonderful person! How sweet are you? Too sweet. I appreciate the compliments in your notes. I have always liked your style, too, the way you shift from thought to thought in a fairly smooth transition. You are fabulous, too! I will most definately try to post something, maybe you should choose one for me? Just one bit of advice: please use shorter paragraphs! I had a hard time following along. Otherwise, I think the story is headed in a wonderful direction (as they always do, oh queen of all that is dark and disturbing). Well, I am hanging on, eagerly anticipating the twists and turns that I know will make up your story! Love ya!


tatshugirl 2004-06-01 id # 3154
Enjoyed it! Nice job with Yuki's mind.

browniepts 2004-06-01 id # 3155
I loved it, loved it, loved it! I'm sittin here with Msume as we read it, we both agree that you are incredible! I love how you are able to convey the emotion of Yuki, without givin away too much about what is going on in his mind. Catch ya later!

browniepts 2004-06-01 id # 3156
Did I forget to say that I loved this story? okay, we'll stop takin up space! We're just so glad you finally got the balls to post a story. We're your biggest fans! Later!

browniepts 2004-06-01 id # 3157
K, did I forget to mention that it's me, Karla? Msume told me I may have failed to mention that. And, no, browniepts doesn't mean I'm just suckin up to ya, doll. I really did enjoy the story. A whole bunch. K, promise that I'm done now. Once again, later.

browniepts 2004-06-01 id # 3158
Ps. Post something, already. I can be this annoying forever.

tatsuichigirl 2004-06-01 id # 3171
This chapter was WAY easier to read. I'm confused, though, is this gonna be a story that jumps around, forcing the readers to actually use their brains and piece it together. I feel a mix of panic and bliss! Love you!

Msume 2004-06-01 id # 3172
Well done * my dear!
I always enjoy not really knowing
what's going on in a story...leaves
so much more room for delicious
speculation! You did a wonderous job
on plot development...e-mail me so I
can bombard you with questions. We
should pair up on a story, ne?

cdg cdg@animechild.com 2004-06-01 id # 3174
Mm.. I'm a little tired to give you a really wordy review, ok? But does "wow" sum it all up for you? Looking forward to more.

Flamingolo 2004-06-01 id # 3175
Okay, to appease Msume, Chapter 1 has been edited to make "oodles more sense" (insert eye roll). Ah, just kidding. I appreciate the feedback! Bear with me.
You guys are wonderful,

PatoSan 2004-06-02 id # 3187
Ooooh interesting! I have to say I really liked how you wrote the scene in the first chapter bewteen Yuki and Shu, it was very touching. I'm dying to know how they got into this mess and I also loved the part with Tohma and Yuki at the office in the second chapter. Please continue!

browniepts 2004-06-02 id # 3189
Alrighty, I'm a gonna keep it short. Love it!

Hitomi 2004-06-03 id # 3202
(Ch. 3) This is freakin' intresting!
Update quickly!

Ja ne~

Aja (imayb1) 2004-06-03 id # 3204
The time jumping and the time references *are* very confusing. It might not be too bad if you used dates instead of 'that morning' and 'the other day' type of references. Beyond the time-warp confusion, I think this a great story. Each chapter has had an interesting little angst-surprise. I'm enjoying reading how it develops. ^_^

Msume 2004-06-03 id # 3205
Love the new chappy! Keep up
the wonderful work!


cdg@animechild.com cdg@animechild.com 2004-06-03 id # 3206
So glad to see another chapter up! I'm anxious to see what will transpire between ShuxYu. But... how did Mika die? The blood stained clothes didn't really give it away. I'm going to reread the chapter, in the event that I missed it. Nice work so far, looking forward to more!

Lilly_bean 2004-06-04 id # 3212
WOWWWWW! That about covers it. POST SOON!


Msume 2004-06-05 id # 3240
Post the next chapter already, you tease.

bloskot 2004-06-05 id # 3245
At first, I wasn't sure if I could keep up with all the jumping of time-line, but I'm really diggin the style!
It's so much more mysterious and intriguing this way. I'm always wondering which details are supposed to be clues.
Brain hurts from use. Owww. We are gonna find out what happened to Mika, though, right? I'm supposed to have a lot of questions at this point, right? In any rate, it's late, and I'm probably rambling. Bottm line: I really love this story so far.

bloskot 2004-06-06 id # 3270
Well done. Hey, don't worry about the story being confusing. I like having to piece it all together! Post. Now.

browniepts 2004-06-06 id # 3274
Enjoyed the newbie! Even if you did say I couldn't respond. Meanie. All right, I promise to keep my reviews short, short, short, short, short. K? In all seriousness-----you did a totally great job w/ this chapt. Caio.

Aja 2004-06-06 id # 3276
The timeline has cleared up a lot of my confusion. Thank you.

Great chapter (4). Not too long ago, some of us Gravi authors were on the lj discussing what it would take to get Eiri drunk and whether or not he would die of alcohol poisoning first. :] I like the portrayal of drunken Eiri, here.

I felt you did a very nice job of describing the scenes Eiri watched. I thought it was super painful that Shu told Hiro he loved him. How can he play that one off? Ouch.

I'm looking forward to seeing the details fill in. :)

PatoSan 2004-06-07 id # 3286
Chapter 3:

Wow, Mika is dead? I loved the way you wrote Eiri on this one, although I must admit even though the way he took care of Tohma was very much IC and well depicted, I didn't see any emotional reacions from Eiri to the death of her sister. That is not to say he didn't have them, you just didn't put them in, perhaps purposely. I really enjoyed it nonetheless, and I'm very intrigued as to what is happening and what is going to happen. I think the addition of the dates was a good one :P

PatoSan 2004-06-07 id # 3287
Chapter 4:

Argh, I love this! I felt Eiri's pain and the lemony sccene was described wonderfully! I wonder why Hiro and Shu are doing what they are doing (since Shu said he loved Yuki). My guess is Hiro is in love with Shu, and Shu is enjoying the attention and the love Hiro has to give. The description of drunken Eiri, the state of his aprtment and the htings that run through his brain were great! I loved this line:

// They probably fucked in the fridge, too.// That was just so Eiri, and so hilarious.

I also love hot Tohma came in and Yuki was ignoring him so much and continuing his weird musings. What is going to happen now? I don't know, but I'm bloody intrigued. I seriously love this piece. Sorry I don't have anythign constructive to say. >_>

Hitomi 2004-06-07 id # 3292
(Ch. 4) Oddly humores.. very morbidly funny.
This story is growing on me! ^^

Please do continue.

Ja ne~

cdg 2004-06-08 id # 3299
So glad you put up another chapter! Damn that Tohma for trying to swoop in and save the day again. *rawrs at Tohma* Can't wait for additional chapters. ^_^

Msume 2004-06-09 id # 3317
Allo, love. I enjoyed this chappy. So very
angsty, aren't we? The way the events are
unfolding~I am lovin' this. However, is it
your perogative to leave everyone alone
and unhappy? Phlpf (sticks out tongue).
I jest, I jest. I am sure that you will not
let me down. I do not wish to beg for a


Aja (imayb1) 2004-06-09 id # 3319
How evil to leave us hanging there! Bad situations all around. I'm wondering where Shuichi will go and, of course, exactly what happened to Mika. Poor, self-sacrificing, long-suffering Hiro. Poor Yuki! One apparant betrayal after another...

PatoSan 2004-06-10 id # 3322
I feel incredibly bad for Hiro, really, I do ;_; Why did they do that? Shu wanted to hurt Yuki? Why hurt him that way and why use his friend? I'm sure you have the answers and I'll eagerly await to read them. I really enjoy how you are writing the Tohma-Eiri interaction, but I hope to hell you aren't going to make Tohm athe bad one (>.

PatoSan 2004-06-10 id # 3323
I shoulf have known it'd cut e off, arghhh. anyways, I was saying: what can I say? I love the man! (meaning Tohma :P) I'm very intrigued and looking forward more. This story is very powerfu, imho (but then again, you know I'm a fan of love triangles and Yuki-Shu-Hiro is an intruiguing one) Now throw some weird Tohm ain the mix and you have a winner in my books. Continue soon!

browniepts 2004-06-10 id # 3324
u are such a tease. once again ill keep it short. are u certain that u dont want me to bounce and shout, as i did in the first few chaps? cause i could. aww. u know i absolutly luv this chap. and u, captain wonderous!

Kikvws 2004-06-10 id # 3329
SORRY I have nt read the latst chapters sooner! You are doi ng an interesting job with this! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for the H x S smutti goodness! Is it wrong to ador one paring so? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I say, NOOOOOOOOOOO. Keep up!

Cassiopeia CassiToTheStars@go.com 2004-06-10 id # 3344
Although the switching, confusing mess of dates can be a little overwhemling, I think it definitely adds to the story--that is, the plotline is based on Yuki's feelings about Shuichi's betrayal, mostly, and therefore Yuki should be confused himself. It only adds to the power of the story if the reader is confused along with him. I like the way this is told, almost as if Yuki is remembering some sort of painful event, and the random order seems more like a stream of consciousness, which, from what I hear, is a concept that is extremely difficult to grasp. However, this last chapter certainly left at a cliffhanger, so I do hope that you let us know about Mika's death sometime in the next chapter. Please?


Kikvws 2004-06-14 id # 3385
ohhhhhhhh..you cheeky bird. nice newbie. more limies, please! love it otw

Bisexual Pygmie 2004-06-14 id # 3390
did he kill her? that would be very suprising

browniepts 2004-06-15 id # 3400
You evil mupit! Why oh why do you say this one sucks? Its not my fav, but I stilll ador this lovely chappy. As promisd, I shal keep my re view short, but I could realy go on about it. You had freakin better clarify Mika's death. Kisses.

bisexual pygmie 2004-06-15 id # 3409
OHHHHH it all makes a lot more sense now. sort of. good work

PatoSan 2004-06-16 id # 3416
I positively adore you right about now. Yes, I do. Arghhh. I LOVE this fic to pieces! I see what's happening! I see it, I see it! It's clever and delightful, and so well written. You have turned me into a fangirl! Beware my fangirl gushing...

I think you are doing an excellent job with this story, and even more with each passing chapter. I think the characters are incredibly IC, yet you've managed to put them into a situation where they do things that would otherwise be, um, far-fetched maybe? For thei ICness I mean. It's amazing, how the hell do you do it? Oooh, I loved this chapter. The bit with Tohma and Yuki had me positively screaming, and it was SO good (note to self: tell Liz to read this fic NOW!) I can't get over it... *fidgets* So, Shuichi was drugged by that girl and things went on from there. I see, I see. What a marvelous plot! Excuse my incoherent review, I'm just all bleh right now. What are Yuki and Tohma going to get up to, I wonder? And whose kid was Mika carrying? What did Tohma say to Mika? I repeat, the scene between Yuki and Tohma was positively incredibly well written. So charged with emotion, bitterness, regreat, hate, love, frienship, frustration, eroticism, the whole works. Great, great stuff. Update soon, pretty please.

Msume 2004-06-16 id # 3424
Hey you! Look at how fast you are cranking these
chappys out! These last two (6 and 7) have been
great. They really have paint places like that? Wow.
Sound interesting to say the least. I partic. enjoy how
Shuichi is high on..am I right to guess ecstacy?
Strange twists, yet, I am not surprised. Put a new
chapter up soon!


peanutbaby13 peanut@dsli.com 2004-06-16 id # 3425
Yuki x Shuichi......lemon...please...get.them.back.together

*is crying for YukixShuichi love*

At one point in the manga/anime Yuki makes mention that he didn't think Shuichi was delicate enough to commit suicide (the part when he jumps in front of the car)

Funny thing is...out of all the characters in the Gravi line up, Shuichi is the one I can see actually attempting it.

So please give Shuichi back his Yuki :(

PatoSan 2004-06-17 id # 3434
Great, great chapter! It was filled with eroticism and sexual tension, it was practically dripping of the screen and onto my desk, no kidding! One word: hot! I wonder what a full lemon coming from you would be like? Where have you been all my life? I even loved that Goku guy, he sounded really, really sexy. So, lemon eh? Since you already described Hiro's and Shu's encounter through the tape, I doubt you'll go over it in detail onc emore. That leaves several other possibilities, but the one I'm thinking of at the moment... (and I'm biased!) it's... Tohma-Yuki! It's becuase Tohma said "Let's just..." and you left it there. Argh, I hope it is. I'll be happy with a Yuki-Shu, or even a Hiro-Goku, lol. But The Tohma-Eiri thing makes sense to me, and it's kinda good "payback" for Shu's affair. Not that I'm saying he deserves it, but it'd kinda make sense. I love this story. Pretty please, with sugar on top, update soon!

Msume 2004-06-22 id # 3504
My goodness! Do you enjoy inflicting us
with such forceful seductiveness? You are
truly evil, truly evil indeed. You have
most definately clarified why exactly
Shuichi slept with Hiro..I was a bit
concerned that you would just play it off
as a drug-induced incident, and am very, very
glad you didn't! Love it, but please get back
to Tohma and Yuki! Love U


PatoSan 2004-06-24 id # 3536
I can't help but loving you so much now n_n Tohma-Eiri lemon! Yummy! *squeals* I don't even want to know how many people are going to give you the "I hate Tohma" bullshit, but from me, you get only praises :] That was really nicely written. Shuichi is right about his feelings of self deception, and I can only see another tragic fight when he discovers Eiri and Tohma... I don't know what way he could find to make it up to Hiro, but I feel my beloved Tohma will be neglected. As always, people brand him the strong one and let him wallow in his own misery ;_; I hope you sort something nice out for him, too. Best of luck in the rest, don't forget to update soon. I LOVE this!

Aja 2004-06-24 id # 3552
(Ch.9) I'm really disliking Shuichi, here. Urgh. He's just stepping on everyone! And Yuki's allowing himself to be hurt-- it's like he's inviting everyone he's trusted to hurt him. :(

On the other hand, the story is pulling together. There are enough facts now that there is true sense of being able to understand what is going on. As the tangles unwind, -can- there be a happy ending?

browniepts 2004-06-24 id # 3553
Wheeeee! Sooo pelased with the new developments! Bounce, boucce, bounce! keepin it short, write more!!!!!!!!!!!!

littlenin 2004-06-26 id # 3572

First, it's like a dream come true, reading a fic with a Tohma/Eiri lemon. Hell, even the hint of a whiff and I'm happy. But you actually DID it- and it was *incredible!* WOW! It was incredible sex, too. Just incredible.

But it's not just that... I can really believe this happened. It makes so much sense. It's a wonderfully thought out fic. The characters are so well developed, with so much dimmension. It's so hard to convey Tohma's vunrability- something you did masterfully. And through the sex- oh god! I loved that last chapter! Could it have been any hotter!?!?!?

happy me....

Jen prophet_dragon_jade83@yahoo.com 2004-06-26 id # 3573
Oh. My. God.

Why isn't there another chapter to this!? Gah! Is Shuichi going to walk in on Tohma and Eiri? Oh goodness I hope so!! Oh yes, that's me, Miss Angst Addict. Gah! How are you going to fix this mess you've put our poor boys into?

Oh, and can I please bitch-slap Shuichi? Ugh.. he reminds me so much of a friend I had in highschool... Only, he actually sees what he's doing is wrong... She on the other hand... yea.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to an update! Hurry hurry hurry! *bounces*

Kikvws 2004-06-28 id # 3608
Woweee. I havn't been able to read your updates fro a while, wholy cats, you've been busy! Lovin' the developments! Lovin' 'em to the pt where you should realize the suspensful pain you inflict on us who read! Caio!

PatoSan 2004-06-30 id # 3636
Oh my God!! I LOVED the lastest chapter! Arghhh, I really did. Let me tell you something in confidence. People don't usually manage to inspire pitty for Shu in me; it's just so overly done and I've become inmune to it, he's just too easy to pick on, BUT you, my friend, managed to make me feel *really* bad for him. I thought the way you described the ending of Yuki and Tohma's sexual encounter, and what Shu saw, was done with a lot of maturity in the descriptions, and I was shivering all over from it. Some of the things you wrote I had in mind for the writing I'm doing now (and some I already had typed out), can we be on a more similar frame of mind? O_o Wanna co-author with me? Lol. I adored the latest chappie. The way you described Yuki as being affectionate towards Tohma actually made me feel bad for everyone; it's like they are all deceiving one another, and things just aren't working out the way anyone wants them. Man, I loved the parallels you drew between how Hiro feels for Shu, and how Shu feels for Yuki, yet how each takes it differently due to their personalities, It was spot on. I love you to death!

Aja (imayb1) 2004-06-30 id # 3639
(ch. 10) Awww. Poor Hiro! He deserves better.

I can only shake my head over Yuki and Shuichi. They've been so awful to each other and so childish. What did Yuki hope to accomplish by leading Tohma on? Tohma's gonna get burned, isn't he? -_-;

Msume 2004-06-30 id # 3640
Girl! This is my favorite chapter yet!
Shu-chan was just soooo real, I really
think that is how he would act (that
or scream like a girl). After all he's
done, I actually found myself feeling
kind of sorry for him, but really, the
bastard did deserve exactly what he
got. Where are you going from here?
Love you!


littlenin (not logged in, like a goofball) little_ninjin@yahoo.com 2004-07-01 id # 3646
holding a baby, so can't type much...WOW! That was so intense. so sad. you captured the emotional intensity in such a fascinating way. the way shuichi was willing to "take it." and the erotic picture of tohma& eiri- you KNOW i loved that!!!-was even more angsty with yuki's anger at shuichi coming out that way. Your undersyanding of psychology is incredible. Then Hiro droawning his sorrows- no one escapes from the gut wrenching twists& turns. it's incredible work. everything is *just so right on*. I put it on my favorites list! update soon!

Anon prophet_dragon_jade83@yahoo.com 2004-07-01 id # 3648
eeeek!!! *hugs you a million times over* I love Eiri's nonchalant attitude about being caught with Tohma!! And I agree with him: THEY ARE SO NOT EVEN! Besides... they're broken up, right? So it's technically not cheating, RIGHT!? Gah... so much angst! *floats happily in the pool of angst*

But... poor Hiro *pets him* Unrequited love is so painful, especially when being jerked around at the same time. I always said that Shuichi was a dirty, dirty slut... Perhaps he should consider a profession in porn, or working a street corner?

Ok, that was bad... I'm sorry... Heh.

I hope you update soon... I want to see who Hiro goes to for emotional support, since Shuichi is obviously the wrong answer for him. *raises hand* I'm willing to comfort him though!

Oh yes... lots of comfort from me! *snickers evily*

AkaTsuki 2004-07-09 id # 3761
i luuuv Goku hope u pair him up with hiro oh and umm this question has been bothering me, k here goes, how did tohma know/or get a tape of hiro n shu? werent they in yuki's apartment? cus if its what im thinking its kinda creepy (i have a very very hentai mind) though at da same time its kinda kinky in a way (again a very hentai mind ^^;;) hope hi-chan can find some closure i wuv him sooo much


PatoSan 2004-07-09 id # 3764
Wow! I wasn't expecting such a turn of events. Even if you decided to bring him back, I thought it may have been done kind of rushed. Not you. I understimated your story telling talents, shame on me, really!

I'm glad you are taking your time to let these two know each other. It adds to the detail and weave of the story. I really like Goku, I must be honest with you. You may even say I love him as a character, but it's early days :D Hiro's thoughts on girls and cigarettes outside the club were a great read. You really have an eye for quirky details, something I love. I really enjoyed this chapter. The interaction between Goku and Hiro felt real, as did the motivations behind Hiro's decision to meet him. He wasn't even sure himself, but you made it sound like the most natural thing in the world to do. I praise you for that.

I must also say one of the other things I liked best about this one (and don't laugh, I am weird like that :/) is the description of the empty place they were at and how it made Hiro feel. This story keeps getting better, more intriguing, and motivated with every step. I wonder if this is your first and you are groeing quickly as a writer? I think you are a talent to watch out for, we should all be very glad you are writing for Gravi. I'm blabbering now, aren't I? -_- Sorry. I'll see you soon. and I'll keep giving you all my random thoughts in future reviews :D

Jen prophet_dragon_jade83 2004-07-09 id # 3766
*huggles the hell outta you*

Brilliant. Simply brilliant. I'm LOVING Hiro's angsting... *pets him* Poor baby... so much confusion, not nearly enough will power to just jump a random bar tender and make it all go away.... Or is there? *bounce*

God, wouldn't that be a mind f*ck for Shuichi? Seeing Hiro attatched to a big, tattooed, obviously sessy guy? But... ack... there are so many possibilites with this! *pulls hair*

I hope you update soon! The need to know what happens with my poor little Hiro is driving me nuts! (as if I could get any crazier, eh? *snerk*)

Bree 2004-07-10 id # 3772
I have to say, you've got me hooked to this. Can't wait to see more. A corrupted Shuichi that can infect everyone around him is an interesting concept. For some reason when I picture Goku I see a Miyavi look alike. *laughs*

Sushi 2004-07-11 id # 3802
Wow. This is a great story. I'm eagerly waiting to see what happens. Though I have a conclusion, I hope I'm wrong. LOL. Keep going. I'd love to read more.

Dana stve3@yahoo.com 2004-07-15 id # 3866
I love your story but i think Shuichi shouldn't grovel so much i mean the reason he slept with Hiro was because Yuki treated him like shit and Shuichi should tell him that instead of crying and begging to be forgiven as if Yuki didn't do anything wrong.
please update soon...

Dana stve3@yahoo.com 2004-07-16 id # 3881
Good chapter Poor Shuichi he cries alot...
can't wait for an update

bisexual pygmie 2004-07-16 id # 3883
oh wow this is depressing

Aja (imayb1) 2004-07-16 id # 3884
(Ch. 11) First, the format on this chapter was really broken-up like every line was its own paragraph. Doing that with some lines for emphasis is okay, but this seemed a bit much.

The end of this chapter had me wondering why Shu left?? He was so adamant to stay! He needed to get through to Yuki. He could have stayed and cared for him! Yuki was in no position to forcibly get rid of him and Tohma wasn't doing anything against him, so ...Why leave?? Please tell us he didn't really leave. He went to the kitchen to get some nice miso soup for Yuki, to help him recover, maybe? And I wonder why Tohma was not interfering. Hmmm.

Msume 2004-07-17 id # 3901
Long time no see, my lovely! This review is for
both chapters 11 and 12, which I adored.
Especially chapter 11, whoa, you did a spect.
job. I partic. liked the connection of cigarettes
to Hiro, the symbolism was staggering! I don't
see why you're so unhappy with chapter 12, I
really enjoyed it. I find the odd word combos
strangely fitting for Yuki, I kind of hope you do
not change it, but I'll understand if you do! I am
eager to learn what Seguchi was doing, why he
just sat there when the love of his life asked
for help throwing his nemesis out. Don't fear,
trust in you to lead us there, you always do!
Love you! I best step aside so Karla can leave
a review for you (so darn impatient!).


browniepts 2004-07-17 id # 3902
allo doll! I was smart enough to actually sign in, unlike Msume (blows a raspberry). sorry we havnt been able to lolly at the new chapts, (urghy) getting married is a giant pain, but this is prob not the place to speak about it! I agree wtih all of msumes comments. mainly, i just wrote to say ditto. Im diggin this angsti lil jumble! write soon, okie? um, dont pay attn to the email account listed for me, i have been deactive. write to msume instead (blows kisses).

abc-xyz 2004-07-18 id # 3913
Look if you want the readers to have any empathy for Shuuichi you have to make him stop whining. He's not the victim in this case and it's irratating to watch him try to play 'wounded lover'.

At this point I'm hoping Yuki kicks him out for good and hooks up with Tohma.

Saying 'I love you' doesn't matter when he's already proven to be unfaithful, that's like saying he's not a murderer after Yuki watched him shoot someone, or that he's not a bank robber when's he's coming home with large sacks of cash.

He screwed around and now he has to pay for it, it's high time he stopped trying to martyr himself and took some fucking responsiblity for his actions, it's time he grew up.

As of now I just see him as a whiny, hypocritical little bitch who really deserves to be castrated and left out in the cold. He says he loves Yuki but runs at the first sign that he won't welcome him back with open arms.

Not only is he a hypocrite but a coward as well.

You say 'revelations are coming' well the better involve some really nasty things happening to Shuuichi because the little prick deserves it.

Kikvws 2004-07-19 id # 3922
WOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! I forgot all about this story, you should put it on FF. Gods, the last chapter I read was 3. Now their are all these twists 'n stuff, and Seguchi-chan and Yuki-chan hookin up? Wholy shit!!!!! U blow me away, girlie wirly. I had no clu what t o expect now!!!! Its so depressin, I really hope you get Shuichi-chan and his grumpy author back together. Yet, I s'pose Ill understnad if you dont. But, but, but they belong together, even if Shuichi-chan fed up royally!!!! Yuki-chan needs his whiney little baka LOL!!!! Plez put 'nother chapter up soon. Readin a bunch in a row spoild this fan rotten!!!!!

Kikvws 2004-07-19 id # 3923
OOOPPSIE DOODLES!!!!!! My dummy pc keeps kickin me to hell. Whta was I saying? O yes, plez put 'nother chaper up soon, suspense like this is hurt'n my poor head!!! O, did I miss what happened to Mika? She killed hersslef, but what happend? Can u gell us soon? Okies, put 'nother chapter up soon, srry for not commentin sooner!!!!!!

tatsugirl 2004-07-20 id # 3932
update quick. this is freakin interesting as hell, must have more. i can not believe what a little bitch shuichi is being and how cold eiri is still treating him. i almost hate you for making me feel for both of them. it was a messed up sitch to begin with and you have made it, um, compelling. too compelling!

PatoSan 2004-07-21 id # 3944
*fidgets* That was very intense! I don't really know what to say except I really enjoyed this chapter and I'm looking forward finding out al the answers. It sems the mistery keeps getting more warped and twisted with each passing minute. I love it! I hope you get the muses to agree with you on a course of action, and the writing goes well. Keep it up, I love this story :D

katie goku_the_saru@yahoo.com 2004-07-26 id # 4026
:*( WAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!1 This is so sad! Please write more! I want to know what happened so badly!

Jen prophet_dragon_jade83@yahoo.com 2004-07-27 id # 4051
Oh. My. Freaking. GOD!!! *throws an empty pack of cigarettes at you* How can you end the chapter there!? That's so damn, bloody cruel!! *weeps* There I was, nose nearly pressed to the screen in anticipation, AND YOU END IT! ARGH!!! *pounds her head against the wall*

Hurry up and write more! I need to know what the hell is going on in Tohma's head!! "I didn't mean to hurt you..".... oh god that's familiar.. Is everyone out to destroy Eiri? How in the HELL are you going to fix THIS?!

And Hiro and Goku... I wanna see what happens with that!! Please don't let Hiro fall back on Shuichi! That little lying slut doesn't deserve him!!

Clarichan 2004-07-28 id # 4058
OMG!! You are a great writer i must admit that. You do not how how many times you made me cry. I must admit that i was so sad and mad with the things that were happening that i almost decided to stop reading it. But everything was so interesting and so well written that i couldn't stop until i found out what happened next. Please continue soon and if you could please email me when the next chapter is out. You are doing a wonderful job! :D

katie goku_the_saru@yahoo.com 2004-07-28 id # 4063
Did you just use the term 'ga-ga'?
AHHAHAHAHA!!!! That was great! More please. ^_^ let me know when the next chappie is up! Arigatou!

Dana stve3@yahoo.com 2004-07-28 id # 4068
What happens next????? what happend to Shuichi??????
he just can't get a break
am i the only one who doesn't think it's all his fault...
pppplllleeeaaaassseeee update fast

abc-xyz 2004-07-28 id # 4069
Well at least Shuuichi finally found the balls to take responsiblity, now all Tohma has to do is pull his head out of his ass and accept his responsibilty for Mika's death and stop trying to use Yuki to redeem himself

And to be honest I don't know what's going on with Hiro and Goku and I don't care either. They're story really has nothing to do with the main plot here and it's unneeded distraction, not to mention the crossover aspect is pointless.

You should give them their own story, right now it's more like your cramming it in this story to take up space.

Clarichan 2004-07-28 id # 4070
AAHH!! Not Tohma and Yuki doing it again! Please fix everything. *sobbing* I want it all to go back the way it used to *sniff* This is all to sad for me. Please continue soon

Sushi DarkFireFairy76@aol.com 2004-07-28 id # 4073
I can't wait to see what happens. Poor Shu and Eiri. Please continue to write.

Msume and browniepts 2004-07-28 id # 4074
Allo, love! Karla and I decided to write
your review together, so we can put
Kaitlin down. Both agree that we love
the newbie. You are so angsty, friend,
but at least we had fair warning, didn't
we? Both of us are totally dying for
Shuichi and Yuki to get back together
so all can be right in the world, and we
know you won't let us down! Karla says
she wants to kick Shuichi in the balls. I
disagree. I like the angle you chose to
take, because he is such a baby in the
manga, I think it's in keeping with the
character. Oh, now Karla agrees
(elbows Karla). We both agree that we
loved the smoke in the chapter, it really
was ironic on two counts, wasn't it!? Oof.
(shoves Karla). Okay, so this is harder
than we thought it'd be. We love the
fanfiction, dear! Talk soon!

~Msume n Karla

LinZ jaunty_haunty13@hotmail.com 2004-07-28 id # 4077
Dear Lord that took me a long time to read, but I'd most definitely say it was time well spent. I'm adoring the plot, and how everyone is cheating behind everyone else's back - it's like a Gravitation soap opera. I'm loving this. I definitely anticipate future chapters, to see what evolves between Hiro and Goku, and also between Eiri and Tohma. You enjoy teasing us do you not? With such ambiguous endings, especially the most recent one! The edge of my seat gets uncomfortable after a while :)

But nonetheless, more critiquing (pretending like I know anything about writing); I really like your use of vocabulary in the story - it's not sickeningly bland, but it's not so complex to the point where I can't understand a damned thing without reading it five times over (like Poe...O.o). It has the makings of an incredible fanfiction...

...what am I saying...it already IS one.

I await future chapters. Awesome work.


LinZ - can't write for beans

Aja (imayb1) 2004-08-01 id # 4124
Hm. Interesting turns of events. My goodness, Eiri's language degenerated in this chapter! I don't think Tohma would ever abandon Eiri, for any reason-- which is part of the whole problem, really.

I like the Hiro/Goku interaction, although I cannot recall what the Master looks like anymore... He was very difficult to picture without a much better memory than my own. ^_^

Poor Shu; all sketched out and headed for a downward spiral. I'm hooked on this fic. I want someone to notice Shuichi's plight.

osaeruyume 2004-08-03 id # 4159
I was hesitant to read this at first b/c I didn't like a deceitful little Shu. I'm glad I did though, I really enjoy it ^_^ Some parts really make me laugh (yeah, yeah... I know its not supposed to be THAT funny). Especially Yuki's thoughts, they are so cynically ridiculous sometimes ^_^. Other parts make me sob U_U. And some parts make me jealous. I want pills that say 'Marry me, Shuichi'... I'd pop some every day XD. I really do think that if Yuki was given this story to read (for all parties perspectives) he would semi-understand Shuichi and maybe forgive him... reluctantly. Shuichi isn't going to kill himself... right? I read a story where Shu killed himself once and I couldn't stop crying U_U I don't like Tohma... he is making me uneasy. He always seems to screw things up to his advantage... you know what I mean? Anyways... I love the story! Update soon!

Kerrisa ruri_kawaii_kitsune@yahoo.com 2004-08-03 id # 4171
Nooooo!!! You stopped too soon! =( Here I am reading the story getting more and more drawn into it, waiting for the next scene to happen and..BAM. End of chapter 13. *cries* I'm reviewin just for you! You have me on the edge of my seat! Please please Puh-Leeeeeze Write more! Lol YTou've made a fan outta me already, so even if it means i have wait for the continuation of this drama intensed story i will :P I'll just spend my time reading your other works of art :P Oh yea! I also read Tiny Bubbles. Another work of brilliance. I never thought washing a car could go so far >_>.. Lol well anyways I'm thoroughly enjoying your stories so don't ever stop writing >_< Lol ByEz!!!

KERRISA 2004-08-04 id # 4178
GOMEN NASAI!!!! A THOUSAND APOLOGIES!!!! Discard that last bit i wrote about Tiny Bubbles. Was Reviewin two stories at once so as expected I got mixed up in the process ^_^' Sorry again!!!! Well on the subject of Reviewin i also wanted to add in I loved how your story kept bouncing around through the time and events. For me it actually wasn't to hard to follow, i was just eager to get the whole picture so I could fill in the blanks. Well A+++++++++ work and a thousand more apologies!!!

Kerrisa ruri_kawaii_kitsune@yahoo.com 2004-08-04 id # 4183
I came as soon as i got ur email! Needless all i can say is "the plot thickens" *groans8 Now you HAVE to update again really soon!! I got a million and one questions swiming around in my head >_< DID tohma hire taki as a hit man? Did tohma have an underhand grasp at Shuichi's horrible encounter with taki and those thugs?? Whats happening with Hiro and Goku!? WHAT HAPPENED TO MIKA!?!?!? AGH!! I'm goin insane ~_~ Lol there are more questions where that comes from but like a good little fan imma sit here staring at the screen waiting for an update. Lol hurry tho! I can't keep my eyes open too long >_> Lol ^_^

katie goku_the_saru@yahoo.com 2004-08-04 id # 4184
OMG! O.O TOHMA THAT $@#%@$#%@ HE MUST DIE!!!!! grrrr..... Now I wanna read more! MOTTO MOTTO MOTTO!!!! ONEGAI SHIMASU!

bakayarona 2004-08-04 id # 4192
Fascinating piece of work.

Clarichan 2004-08-04 id # 4195
Sugoi! This is so exciting. Thanks for the email! I appreciate it very much. I really love the way that you describe things. And labeling the dates was a pretty good idea too. I hope that everything goes back to normal. Poor Yuki! Why does he have to suffer? Continue soon :D

osaeruyume 2004-08-05 id # 4200
OOooOO.. Tohma has skeletons in his closet (*snicker* like we didn't know that). My favorite paragraph in the whole chapter is:

"Tohma jerked his head in agitation, as Yuki squirted the cold lube on his erection and roughly stroked with his warm hand. Yuki continued to issue teeth marks across Tohma's chest until he reached an ignored section of collarbone, which he leisurely sucked on. Tohma groaned and tipped his face down to kiss the top of Yuki's head."

I just love the descriptions XD. I think this chapter was too short though, I demand more >o

osaeruyume 2004-08-05 id # 4201
Stupid thing cut me off! Oh well I always forget not to use that symbol.. anyway. What I said was, I love this to pieces now, I'm glad I read it. I really enjoy the style of revealing something and then going back and explaining it. It keeps it fresh! I admit though, it was confusing at first, but I've gotten used to it.

Update soon ^_^

littlenin 2004-08-05 id # 4202
omg... that very last scene is just so shocking. I almost can't believe i read it right- even though i reread it twice. O.o; TOhma's such a...oh no! I had a feeling when Yuki wasn't turned on. That was intense. I just had to react:Wow.

Jen prophet_dragon_jade83@yahoo.com 2004-08-05 id # 4203
Holy shit. Holy shit. HolyshitHolyshitHolyshit!

*squeals and squirms in her chair* This is getting SO damn good!! Tohma paid off Taki to murder Mika? Then casually slipped into Eiri's pants? Did he also pay off the chick that gave Shuichi the "mericle drugs"!? AAAAH!!! YES! SO MUCH MYSTERY AND ANGST!

And Goku and Hiro... *sighs happily, batting her eye lashes in your general direction* Such a good little bouncer, he be. He actually has morals. Ra! I'm loving him so much! And the way he flirts with Hiro... gotta keep the boi on his toes!!

But YOU... you evil, EVIL writer you! Leaving me in suspense like that!! *takes your beer away* Haha! You can't have it back until you post a new chapter!! *sticks her tongue out, and runs like Hell*

LinZ 2004-08-05 id # 4211
More foreshadowing! Must you keep us in suspense constantly? :3

Despite the fact that Eiri seems to be a cold, callous bastard and Tohma seems to be a little sweetheart, they make such a cute couple, even if it is all for the sex O.o Such a yummy story this has become since the beginning. I still likes much.

Oh yay I can't wait to read chapter 15. (don't worry that wasn't sarcasm).



bakayarona 2004-08-08 id # 4245
This is a very powerful piece. The twists and turns are all over the place but blend in to make sense.

And I never know where you will be taking us next! The roller-coaster ride has just begun!

Jessie otohanyou@aol.com 2004-08-15 id # 4339
please continue tell us readers what is gonna happen

osaeruyume 2004-08-19 id # 4399
Eep! That sneaky little bastard!! I never would have imagined Mika and Taki in it together! What a twist! That chapter was too short for my liking though... Things were just getting good too! I have a question, and I actually would like an answer if it wouldn't bother you too much (gomen if I'm asking for much u_u); did Eiri mean for Shuichi to go back to HIS apartment when he said go home?! o_O.. if so, I'm glad the Mika mess came into the open if it makes him listen to Shu. *sigh* I really do hate seeing them apart like that. And Tohma that bastard! He's a sick boy, that one. Good chapter ^_^

osaeruyume 2004-08-19 id # 4400
okay, okay, I know I already reviewed. But I was reading a review that Jen gave you.. good point!!! Did he pay that chick in the begining to give Shu those messed up "pain killers"???? Naughty Tohma!!!

AkaTsuki 2004-08-20 id # 4410
OMIGOD was Taki the father? Ewwy gross. but i still dont know why she died and why Yuki wants Shuichi to go 'home' so they could 'talk'. why does Goku know about Taki and why'd he approach Hiro anywahs, oh nvm i think i know, maybe, im not sure but i have an idea, if my idea is right then Tohma is a strategic genius.SO MANY QUESTIONS!!! but it might jus be to complex for my mind oh well guess ill wait it out. i hate waiting. UPDATE


Aja (imayb1) 2004-08-20 id # 4411
(ch. 15) I've been reading, but I don't recall when I last reviewed. Please forgive me! I'm sorry.

I loved the dialouge in this chapter. I particularly liked the way you brought Mika in. It made me think of watching video tapes of people who have died. A strange sort of present-time reminiscence that took place in the past. It's a terrific perspective.

As to the events: You just keep wow-ing me! Everything is so... deep and interwoven. Everything; everyone; every action seems to have a purpose. I find myself paying close attention to the details; not knowing when they will come to light as something of consequential importance. I am intrigued by the beginnings of Goku's confession, as well as the alignment of Mika and Taki. I was happy for Shuichi when Yuki told him to go home and that they would 'talk later'. I can hardly wait to see how that turns out.

Such a fascinating story and an innovative way to present it.

Clarichan 2004-08-20 id # 4414
Oh wow! I am still confused on what happened with Mika, but hopefully as the chapters keep coming everything will become clearer. I have a clue, but i guess its not enough. And Yuki told Shuichi to go home!! I hope all ends well :D BTW Thanks for the email ;D

Dana stve3@yahoo.com 2004-08-21 id # 4421
WOW there are so many twists!!!!
I'm a little confused please update quickly i have to know what happens

Kar3n 2004-09-17 id # 4789
Dude. I was reading this, and it was about to kill me. I've only read the first couple of mangas of Gravitation and I'm like, "OHMIGOD~! OHMIGOOOOOOOD! WTF HAPPENED!?" My Mom thinks I'm a total idiot now because I was yelling at the computer screen, and yelling at Eiri and Shu-chan 'cause I don't know what the hell is going on. XD Sad, no? I'm making her take me out to buy the rest, but I congratulate you on the story so far. I've read tons of fanficiton for things that I've read the first manga, but hardly any stories get me to go and buy the rest of them. ANd your story is motivating me to spend my lunch money on mangas! w00t!

Dana stve3@yahoo.com 2004-10-17 id # 5189
Wow so Taki planned everything... but what did he want to do to Shuichi
I can't wait for the next chapter, Update soon!

osaeruyume 2004-10-17 id # 5195
Eep! Intriguing and confusing as ever. I knew that bitch with the cool pills was in on it XD. I feel bad for Shuichi though- that's pretty nasty to be slipped a drug you never wanted to take. But that doesn't account for the time that he slept with Hiro and Yuki saw. Was that staged too? Or did it just happen? And what's behind the trophy case? Well, yummy chapter- I enjoyed it ^-^. I don't know how you keep the times and dates accurate-- o_o

Sliefoxx kitsune_103@yahoo.com 2004-10-17 id # 5201
An emotional hay-ride from the beginning!! Just as you think it can't get worse you throw something new in the mix. I feel like I'm reading 24 (you know, the TV show?) Yuki needs to get his priorities strait, Shuichi should've guessed that ain't aspirin, Goku should've told Hiro in the first place, Hiro should've used his head and Tohma just needs to hang himself!! What's behind the case? Who set up the video camera? AND YOU'D BETTER UPDATE SOON BEFORE I LYNCH SOMEONE IN FRUSTATION!!! *gasp* You've kept me guessing up to the last sentance. Keep it up. =^^=

PatoSan 2004-10-19 id # 5217
I'd forgotten how complicated the plot of this story was. I am positively jealous of your ability to weave such a story. Wow, just wow. I need time to catch my breath. I remembered the whole club scene while I read the re-cap from Goku's POV. What a classic scene. All your characters in this story are incredibly rich and appealing. Goku is seriously one of my faves out of the lot, and probably my favourite OC ever. You've done an excelent job with him, I commend you. The descriptions of the place is rich and lively and it pulls me right in. I am very jealous of your dialogue as well. So sharp, so gripping. The interaction between Taki and Mika had me short of squealing. I love the twisted relationship you've given them and your take on Mika is fantastic. I can't wait till you let us in on all the secrets of this fake marriage and Taki's intentions invoving Shuichi. I don't know why I suspect Mika isn't dead and that is all a cover-up so that Mika and Taki can go away together. I wonder what will come of Hiro and Goku, what of Yuki and Shu, and after all is revealed, what of Tohma then? So many questions beg answering! Fantastic story, great writing skills. It's being an awesome read.

Good luck in your private life by the way. I hope you settle nicely and get back to writing as soon as possible. You know where to find me *hugs*

clari chan littlecn88@yahoo.com 2004-10-20 id # 5222
i was thinking let me check up on Gura and when i clicked angst i saw that u finally updated.....! The waiting wasn't in vain either...i'm kind of surprised that i remembered everthyng though....and that....is a really good sign...you have a definite talent at writing mystery and suspense...Please keep up the excellent work...and continue soon!

Jen 2004-10-22 id # 5236
*blink*....................*blink blink*

Wow... You were right when you said this story was complex! I'm loving it though! But you already knew that :D So when is 17 coming out, huh huh huh? Don't make your Commander spork you half to death!

I'm concerned, though... Does this mean Goku and Hiro wont be sleeping together? :( *pouts severely*

Anywho.... Great work as always ^^ The jump around in the time line was a little confusing at first, but once all the pieces were put down, it was all good. Hurry up and write! Now! *prod*

osaeruyume 2004-10-30 id # 5313
Ooo.. interesting. But that last part, whas that July the previous year or July as in the coming July?

clarichan littlecn88@yahoo.com 2004-10-30 id # 5317
Wow! thats really all i can say...my god...you have so many things going on my head is spinning...this is a really really good fic...i really love how everything is unvealing itself...wish i could write such great angst....Please continue soon!

Dana stve3@yahoo.com 2004-10-31 id # 5325
God the plot thickens even more you're amazing!! So Yuki doesn't know about Taki's little conspiracy against Shuichi yet? i can't wait for him to find out, and what will he tell Shuichi? and what does Taki want with Shuichi anyway??

Aja 2004-11-01 id # 5349
(ch. 17) Wow. This story is amazingly convoluted, and yet... understandable in all its confused twisting. Terrific work. I could never have gone back and forth between spaces of time and kept it all straight in my head!

I'm still reading. ^_^ Still hanging in for the next installment... still waiting for plot and character revelations! Keep up the good work! ^_~

PatoSan 2004-11-01 id # 5360
Liz has deleted all her work from the net ;_; I have Six Underground in my HD, though, thankfully.

I loved this chapter! It was jam-packed with juicy plot details and now my head is spinning, but I'm dying to find out what is going on more than ever. What is Tohma doing?? I really have no idea and you are making me hate my baby in this fic *hurts*

I really like Goku as a character, but I think I've told you that a million times now. I love your character interaction and I'm still trying to learn from you; man you are a great writer and I do mean that. Tohma the voyeur! Liz and I always did entertain that idea and joked about it... damn, I miss her so much.

Anyway, I also loved how when Mika discovered Tohma jerking off she didn't make a big deal out of it straight away, but kept calm and amused- it reinforced the maturity of your story. All the characters seemed pretty in control while I was jumping out of my skin and bouncing in my chair from the events taking place; I wanted to scream, lol. The relationship between Goku and Taki was also surprising, but it made sense. I have *no* idea whatsoever at what drives Taki, either, and hell if I'm not dying to know about it.

You also included some great details in your writing on this one, like the grit of the floor against Tohma's shoe. I'd never have thought of it, and I just stopped there and took in the scene. Powerful writing, gripping characterization and mind-boggling plot. This story oozes wowness from every word. I'm so glad you are back to updating regularly! Best of luck with the rest.

Jen 2004-11-06 id # 5420
Oooo yay! I get to come home for the weekend, and there's a new chapter to read! Oh happy day! *spins you in circles* And YES!! Hiro and Goku!! Yippee!! *sets off bottle rockets and lights sparklers, passing them around to all the readers*

Gosh... this story just gets deeper and deeper... it has more layers than an onion O.o (sorry... just watched Shrek 2) but that's cool! I am hereby insanely jealous of your wonderful story craft. I don't think I could ever hope to write a story that's so involved, and to work the characters the way you have. They just have so much damn personality and dark recesses! Jealous. Yes, yes. Much jealous. *tries not to throw rocks at you*

And oh my GOD... the lemony stuff! *curls up in your lap, purring contentidly* Beautiful! Simply beautiful!

Gah! You BETTER be working on the next chapter, missy! Don't make me hunt you down and withhold the beer! *glances at the fridge* I WILL do it. I will!

thread_spool thread_spool@yahoo.com 2004-11-11 id # 5507
Whoa interesting the storyline... (that didn't made sense much) gack.. am currently in incoherent state.. blame english exam >.< luffly story, nice lemonys hope the end resolves itself soon. am slightly disappointed to find out that this ficcy isn't completed (even more so to find out theirs no author alert.. ) very goot writing! shall keep reading so update soon onegai ^^;;

thread_spool 2004-11-11 id # 5508
Whoa interesting the storyline... (that didn't made sense much) gack.. am currently in incoherent state.. blame english exam >.< luffly story, nice lemonys hope the end resolves itself soon. am slightly disappointed to find out that this ficcy isn't completed (even more so to find out theirs no author alert.. ) very goot writing! shall keep reading so update soon onegai ^^;;

Msume and browniepts see e-mail for new account 2004-11-23 id # 5749
Nik! We're so lost without you and your 'net access (thank god for turkey day)!
We've missed updates, unbelievable!! This story has gotten so much more
complicated, and your style keeps getting better and better. We couldn't believe
it when Taki and Goku were reveled to be lovers, and can't help but think there
is more to that 'ship. Goku has really come along well, you have no reason to
be conserned about adding an OC into the mix!! He's a hottie!! Regarding
your notes from a previous chapter, your so wrong!! The cheerleaders
are well deserved!! We love ya!!
~Msume and Karla

Dana 2004-12-28 id # 6419
Please please update :-(

tears_for_tubs 2005-03-20 id # 7943
this is the first story that made me cry.

Dana stve3@yahoo.com 2005-03-22 id # 7962
Loved this chapter!! So i guess Yuki'll finally stop dealing with Mika's death and start taking care of his love life.
Taki is insane. He completely lost it! So Goku killed Mika?!?
I hope Yuki moves his next chapter and go see Shuichi so please update soon!

Aja 2005-03-22 id # 7963
(ch. 11) I love brooding!Hiro. :D I liked this chapter a lot. Seeing what is going on in Hiro's head, his struggles of mind and emotion are fun to 'watch'. I like Goku, too. He seems very practical.

Aja 2005-03-22 id # 7966
(18) I accidentally revisited and reviewed 11, but re-reading is good, too. XD

The author asides/reminders were very helpful to me and brief enough that I felt they didn't interrupt the story.

I liked Mika's line, "I'm not your telescope, or your wife." This was quite a full chapter! I'm disappointed in Goku. *sigh* I liked him. I love to hate Taki, but damn! His most recent actions and behaviors really take the cake. Talk about bad kharma!

I find your story very enjoyable. Hard to follow sometimes, but worth the effort in brain power. ;D Thanks for writing. I look forward to your conclusion.

Sliefoxx 2005-03-22 id # 7977
*uncontrolable crying* I liked Goku! And now he's a possible bastard and and ... *more uncontrolable crying* I'm still puzzled over Tohma though ... then again I probably missed some important detail along this emotional chaos. Anyway, was there something about the clock Taki doesn't like? *confused* Just curious.
This story is amazing. ;)

A VERY disgruntled Dragon-Chan 2005-04-08 id # 8299
You... You... GAH!!!! >< Words cannot EXPRESS how absolutely LIVID I am right now!!! Nikky, how COULD you!? You've killed one of the most interesting OC's I've ever had the pleasure of reading about!!! You evil, evil minion! Bad bad bad!!! *wails incoherently while throwing random objects*

*deep breath*

Grrr.... Anyway, other than you killing off my favorite character, the chapter was fabulous as always. Every one you put out ends up shifting the blame until you just want to say "Fuck it" and let the chips fall were they may. I don't think I've ever read anything so deeply involved with so many different levels and layers of development, twists and drama. And, sadly, I probably won't understand the story at ALL until the last chapter is posted :P You just have that gift... you keep a reader interested and hanging on till the last word.

Kudos, Golo-chan. Kudos.

But, as payment for my total and complete maddness this morning, I think you should let me kill Taki. Can I? Please? I won't kill him TOO badly... just until he dies from it. Promise.

PatoSan 2005-04-18 id # 8511
Woah, Goku died?! I'm upset ;_; Taki killed him, the bastard. I was growing really fond of Taki's character for some reason and now this, arghh! A lot of things to say about this chapter, far too many to mention in this review. The mentions to Shakespeare were great and anything mentioning Mika was fantastic. Loved Eiri's pissy nature on this one and Shuichi's naivete about drugs.

I must say, though, that I do try very hard to follow everything and still get incredibly lost. Even with your notes and the mentions of dates and times, it's too much happening at once to keep track off and it makes it a hard read at times :/ I love this fic to death and I think the plot is one of the very best I've seen in any fic, but maybe you should try to concentrate on a few subplots or scenes at a time. It's hard to say how, but the strucutre of the fic makes for a far too trepidant read, it makes it into a bit of an acid trip which instead of tossing me into a heightened state of euphoria makes me a bit dizzy at times. If only you could sort that out somehow, this would be a lot better.

Good luck on the alst chapter, Golo chan! Speak soon


AiYasha 2005-04-25 id # 8725
Hey I think I'm finally reviewing Yah...so anyways the story is really really good I think that you have some great ideas but just don't know how to put them out right...if..before every chappy you have to put the event in sequence for the readers and they still don't know what the hell...intic is going on then you need to change something. Personally for me I'm am still a little confused about some of the people motives for doing the things they did but hopefully everything will be cleared up by the time you finish...but really hopw up update soon and I'm sorry if I was to harsh...pleash dont hate me.....


p.s. the pic of goku isn't very clear...I would love to see another one if you have it =^_^=

tammy-love TBURNAT@AOL.COM 2005-05-17 id # 9216






Yukita 2005-05-23 id # 9311
WOW What a fic, I thought I was reading a novel of Agatha Christie, all the twisting of the days was just great, I hope you write soon to see the end

GWL 2005-06-06 id # 9537
Anyone else starting to wonder WHY Tohma has a film of Yuki's bedroom?


C4NDYP4NTS 2005-06-19 id # 9832
If you are not going to update this fic (clearly indicated because you haven't in a very VERY long time), then kindly take it off this site. The last thing readers need is to read another half-assed, unfinished fic. Granted, this story is exceptionally well written and unique, but if it's just going to remain like this, take it off, because we need more people who actually FINISH their attempts.
Thank you

Tamago 2005-08-10 id # 11089
How sad! Mika, dead...v.v Taki is cooler/insaner then ever, which is just how I like it. The part with the bangin' in the fridge was all kinds O' funny. ^.^ Please continue.

Kikvws 2005-09-29 id # 11988
*looks under couch* Where did you go? *peels back paint on walls* Golo? Please write more already, you're draggin out the clif to beyond human capabilites!!

ashcat 2005-11-02 id # 12828
Chpt 19: Wow.. that was awesome.. I really liked the ending and how it focused on Shu and Yuki just the beginning was focused on them! You really came full circle! thanks for finally finishing this :) it was great!

Saya 2005-11-02 id # 12832
I have to say that this fan fic is the absolute most confusing one I have ever read. @_@ The plot is super complicated.... But good.... I'm still confused as to where Sakano fits in...XD
It was a good fic though. Thanks for the summaries. That helped more then you can imagine. (I get confused easily)

Reccomendations for the next fic you write is making it a little less complicated plot-wise and less jumpy on the timeline. That was probably the most confusing part. Overall you're a wonderful writer but you just need to smooth things out a bit. ^_^

Sliefoxx 2005-11-02 id # 12835
::tears:: It's finished ... it's really finished ... ::sob::

This goes on my top five favourites, definately. You've kept me on the edge of my seat for twenty chapters with plot twists, emotional turmoil, realism and of course, the absolutely delicious smut.

Despite my inner fluff-bunny being a tad dissapointed, (barely a tad even) I'm glad to see after all the angst, there was no 'happy ending'. Sure, they got back together, but the doubts will probably never completely dissapear, which is only human.

I can't wait to see what you'll write next. :) Thank you for sharing the tragedies.

Aja 2005-11-03 id # 12870
(19, 19.5) A very satisfying finish. Keeping all of this straight, tying up all of the loose ends and completing it is a monumental acheivement! ;D

There was so much *to* this final chapter, I hardly know what to say. I enjoyed Hiro's conclusion and Yuji's presence there. Finally knowing exactly how Mika met her end is really ... fulfilling. I like you take on the culprit. The showdown with Tohma felt like Eiri was finally honing up to being himself or being mature enough to live without the odd 'safety net' of Tohma. Finally, great smut. It made for a very hopeful ending, in my opinion.

For all of its timeline, its twists, and subplots, this was a very well done story. Thank you very much for writing and sharing it.

PIKACHU GODDESS PIKACHUGODDESS@yahoo.com 2005-11-08 id # 13048
You have written one of the most confusing, convoluted, twisted stories that I have ever read in my entire life.
And I hope you write another one. Well done!
Keep up the excellent work, you are a brilliant writer!


Although, I can't help but wonder what Touma's reaction will be when he realises that Sakano has fled...and whether or not anyone will make the connection between his dissapearance and Mika's death. I suppose I'm asking for a sequel!

Dana 2005-11-13 id # 13233
Wow I loved the ending! I can't believe it was Sakano all along!!!! poor Goku...
I'm so glad you got Yuki and Shuichi back together :)

kikvws 2005-11-13 id # 13242
Whoo-hooo! You finished it!!! OMG what an ending, the sex, the sex, the sex was just freking great. Thx for soundtrack, I luv gettin' the musical inspiration for a fic, and this one fit, esp vaux. I still can't believe that SAKANO was the killer!?!?!? FM I didn't see that one coming. Luved this, thx for finishing it!!

Anon 2005-12-06 id # 13796
Ass ,please!! that would never happen!!!!!!

Daemon lizzieislved@yahoo.com 2006-02-10 id # 15713
is it just me, or does someone like saiyukkkki?
cause you mentioned saiyuki before with the fan, and now a guy named goku. I don't know. maybe I'm crazy.

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