VioletEyes		2007-10-09	id # 35218
WOW!!! Nice update, I loved it. The whole scene between Ryu & Tats(& the scene with Shu & Eiri) was great!!! Keep it up, I cant wait to see what happens next!!!

Lauren		2007-10-09	id # 35224
this is a GREAT fanfic!! i LURB it to itsy-bitsy pieces!!! >_< PLEASE OH PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!! it's an amazing story already and i can't wait to see what happens between shu and eiri. also i love that u use eiri's real name!!! i also love the part where ryu is beggin shu to keep tatsuha!! it's so adorable!!! please continue and update soon as possible!!! >_

abcdefg		2007-10-10	id # 35227
The concept is good and you have developed the characters nicely. It's a shame the execution is causing what could be a really decent fic to be passed-by. Sorry, but I know you will consider this a flame, but it isn't. You are getting CC. Because of the lack of commas (and other weird punctuation), plus some very strange phrases trying to disguise themselves as sentences, this fic stumbles and falls flat. Please find a grammar and punctuation betareader who can help you tweak your fic to something easy-to-read. Right now, it is difficult for the reader to keep the flow going while reading because of these errors. It stops readers as they try to figure out what exactly you are trying to say. Like I said, this just needs some tweaking. Please consider this - it would be nice to have this fic polished up and sail along with those tweaks. Good luck and I hope you find a tweaker for this fun fic!

Graviluvr		2007-10-13	id # 35255
Isn't this the same story that's already written and completed over in FFN? Or was it some other Gravitation fanfic site? I can't remember but I do remember a story like this. Doesn't Shuichi's singing show them a scroll or something like that? I don't know. Can't remember correctly. Anywho, just curious!

Graviluvr		2007-10-13	id # 35257
Okay, I think I was wrong. Anyways, I love how Ryu is treating Tats as a pet. It's so hilarious! Oh, and I can't wait to see how Shuichi and Eiri get together. LOL. Aside from that, there were a few misspelled words but not enough for the story to get irritating. Please update soon!! It's really good so far. Thanks.

VioletEyes		2007-10-15	id # 35265
Well Tatsuha doesnt seem so upset about being captured(but soon Eiri wont either...I hope) I love it! Keep up the good work!!! Oh, and dont worry about the writers block, it happens to lots of us(Like me on my story)

nikita		2007-10-15	id # 35268
Hiya! Just wanted to let you know that I'm really enjoying your story. However, I think it might be a good idea to get a beta-reader to proof your work. I think it's more important for the reader to be able to smoothly read through the story rather than having to stop and work through grammatical errors, wrong punctuations, etc. If you don't have one, I'd be happy to help you out if you like. But all in all, keep up the good work, and I'll be waiting for your next update. I can't wait to see what Shuichi will do with Eiri at his beck and call!

Lauren		2007-10-16	id # 35280
OH ME GEE!!!! you have no idea how much i love this story!!! >_< it is so fun and spunky. i LOVE the concept of the whole thing and i can't wait to see wait happens next!! i loved reading the part where ryu asks shu if he can keep tatsuha and the look on tasuha's face when shu says the line about his last pet dyin!! also i can't wait to read how eiri starts reacting to shu and slowly realizing he likes him!!! i just can't wait to read what happens next!!! PLEASE OH PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!!! >_<

Graviluvr		2007-10-21	id # 35300
Some Mistakes: "Shuichi smiled widely and threw his arm in the arm" I'm guessing that was supposed to be "air". "Firmly standing behind the helm they captain looked out over the ocean "..."The" captain I'm guessing. “Oh Hiro; what’s the finally count?” ...I think you meant "Final" or did you mean "Finely"? "Shuichi began to blush and turned away form his friend"...whee! You meant "from". Whoot, I'm on a roll! "First of all his was in a smelly cell"..."he" It's hard being able to read your mistakes when it's your own work. It's happened to me so many times. "Rolling his eye"...you forgot to make that plural. "At least that was wroth the embarrassment"......."worth" "Eiri rolled his for what seemed to millionth time"......Looks like you forgot a few words in there. "eyes" and "be the" "left little to imagination."...I'm not sure if that was an accident or not since some people say it like that, but I would have put the word "the" in front of "imagination" "she had draws the gun from her left hip "....drawn the gun or drew the gun...either works. "Shuichi Appeared on the opposite side"....a capital is where it shouldn't belong. "regular chores that the ‘show’ was over"..."now" that the 'show' was over? "any threatens me"..."anyone"...right? Should I stop? "he stared to bounce away"......."Started" "Shuichi set his glass down and folding his hands in his lap and smiled in almost uncontained delight." ....Too many "ands" in this sentence. "couple more thins I would like "...forgot the "g" in things. "You will bath on at least a weekly basis.".....you forgot to put the "e" in bathe. "crew from contracted any sort of decease." ...."contracted" is supposed to be "contracting" and "decease" is supposed to be "disease" "going to have to live them."......."with" them "keep prisoners on as just that then they are aloud to either leave".....This part just confuses me. Is there a comma missing somewhere? "I don’t like but sometimes"........like "it" "to begin you ‘servitude’"........forgot the "r" in your. I hope you don't hate me for doing that. I'm only trying to help because a writer/author can't really see their own mistakes and it can hurt the number of readers they get. If you don't want me to do it again, just email me and I'll stop. I just want to read the story anyways. It's very good so far. Please update soon!?!? Thank you. ^^

Graviluvr		2007-10-25	id # 35320
Du-dun-duu!!! Seguchi is gonna ruin everything! He must DIE! Anyways, I'm really loving this story! It has all my favorite pairings! Ryu/Tats, Hiro/Suguru, and Eiri/Shuichi!!! Oh, VERY good lemon by the way. Please update soon?!?! Thanks! ^^

VioletEyes		2007-10-26	id # 35323
dun Dun DUNNNNNNNNNN *BigDramaticReverb* Keep it up! MORE MORE MORE!!!

VioletEyes		2007-10-26	id # 35324
BTW, I LLLLUUUUURRRRRVVVVED the lemon (& I JUST KNEW this was a HiroxSuguru fic!!!)

VioletEyes		2007-10-26	id # 35325
1 more thing, that kiss was HOT!!! I kno it surprised the HELL outta Eiri, even I didnt see that coming!!!

VioletEyes		2007-11-19	id # 35416
Awww poor Suguru. Ugh, and Tohma is just as "sweet" as ever. Great update!!! Can't wait for the next installment.

Graviluvr		2007-11-19	id # 35418
I'm not an editor. I'm just here to read stories, so all I have to say is... GREAT SO FAR!! I can't wait to see what happens next. I like the way you have Tohma and Mika together. It's annoying how in most stories Tohma ignores his wife completely and is always fawning over Eiri. What you added in this chapter was better and HOT! I just hope he is more in love with his wife then he is with Eiri. He isn't in love with Eiri in this, is he? Tohma/Mika all the way! Any ways, hopefully the Bad Luck crew stay at this Pleasure place for a long time. I don't want Tohma interfering with the three wonderful couples. And who is this "she" they spoke about? I really hope it isn't some old girlfriend of Shuichi's. That always ruins relationships. Oh, well. I guess I'll have to wait and see! Update soon? Thank you!! ^^

VioletEyes		2007-11-25	id # 35442
I loved this latest chapter. I love how you made Shu's mother. She sounds like mine...like she tries her damndest to embaress me about some guy I like XD Keep going, I cant wait for the next chapter!!!

VioletEyes		2007-11-29	id # 35449
dun Dun DUUUNNNNNNN!!! Curse you and your talent for keeping us on the edge of our seats!!! So many questions, so little patience XD!!! See you next chapter.

cocoke5		2007-11-29	id # 35450
the story is real good and i can not wait for then next chapter and see what happen to shuichi . and see what will shiuchi s mom do . up date soon.

VioletEyes		2007-12-07	id # 35494
Its about damn time they came out & said it!!! Now he's leaving??? Say it aint so!!! I'm not worried tho...he'll come back. NICE UPDATE(definitly worth the wait)

cocoke5		2007-12-07	id # 35496
oh i can not wait for the next chapter and see if eire get to toham and stop the he for looking for shiuichi and i love the way that tohma get sick when he found out that his wife is having a baby that was funny . will shiuchi and eire found eash other again will be wait for more of the story and see good luck on the rest of the story.

VioletEyes		2007-12-08	id # 35497
YAY, a quick update!!! I loved it(I was on the edge of my seat too) Theres so much to take in: Taki's 'surprise' - The connection between Rumiko & Tohma - Shu & Eiri's relationship!!! OH THE DRAMA!!!

Estelle		2007-12-11	id # 35516
Well, I can't begin to say how well this has been written from the beginning to now. This is an insteresting AU and I find, that you did an amazing job keeping everyone in character. Your original characters are also well written!

Estelle		2007-12-11	id # 35517
That is a perfect cliff hanger, really makes you desperate to read the next chapter.

VioletEyes		2007-12-11	id # 35518
OMG! FINALLY, I thought they'd never find out!!! Yay for them(& like Rumiko, I wish them a life of good sex too) NNNNNNUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! Whats Taki done with Shu? Save him Yuki!!! DUN DUN DUUNNNNNNNNN*BigDramaticReverb*

Lauren		2007-12-11	id # 35522
you need to update this story right NOW!!! >_< i can't wait to find out what happens!!! and as always the story is amazing!!! and i love hiroXsuguru too!! that scene was cute yet hot!!! love it....please update soon!!!

VioletEyes		2007-12-11	id # 35524
OMFG!!! This chapter was just full of revelations!!! This story just keeps getting better!!!(& snaps to you on these quick updates) I await your next chapter!!!!!!

FuzzyShu		2007-12-12	id # 35527
I hope this comes through. Ihave tried to send a review for months. I love this story and am enjoying it a lot because it is currently my favorite one. Thanks for the enjoyment and the suspence. Good stuff.

VioletEyes		2007-12-12	id # 35531
Somehow I kept getting the hint that Ma wasnt bad, and I was right!!! Nice update!!!

fahaar		2007-12-12	id # 35533
Wow! I had followed your story from the very begin, and I don’t care who you are coz’ I love you soooooo much. *chuuu*

VioletEyes		2008-01-05	id # 35619
THAT WAS SO WORTH THE WAIT!!! Poor Ma & Ken! Yay Eiri arrived: HERE HE COMES TO SAVE THE DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! Of course we dont want this to be the end!!! PLEASE update soon.

VioletEyes		2008-01-26	id # 35748
I did. I LOVED the battle scenes!!! This was a great update! I cant wait for more!

VioletEyes		2008-03-11	id # 35826
IN-FREAKIN-TENSE!!!! Took a long time, but now Taki is gone!!! But, we still need to save Shu (and what about Old man Uesugi & that powder?) PLEASE dont take too long updating (unless you have to cuz it is worth the wait)

VioletEyes		2008-03-13	id # 35836
OMG OMG OMG OMG!!! WTF?!?! DUDE, THAT WAS THE MOST INTENSE CHAPTER EVAH!!!

VioletEyes		2008-03-13	id # 35837
& thanks for the fast update...lets hope the next 1 isnt to far off as well

blackneko		2008-09-15	id # 36302
I REALLY LIKE THIS STORY!!!!!You are so creative and talented!I would have never thought up a fanfiction like this.I really enjoy all the action scenes and the way the characters are put into the story.I just really love this fanfiction so PLEASE UPDATE!!!!!!I'LL REVIEW IT FROM NOW ON!!i couldnt before cause i couldn't register.Ur so crative though and if you don't continue,it'll have been a waste to begin cause this story is so genius!I'm beggging u to update!pleaease?!?meow.

BlackNeko		2008-11-30	id # 36554
*Tears pouring* By far the best action fic ever!!!! That was amazing! I am very happy that you finished it and I can't wait to read more fics by you( u genius!)!Meow. So awesome....

VioletEyes		2008-12-02	id # 36558
Well, despite that cliffhanger you left us at for soooo long, I absolutely LOVED the way you ended the story, it was totally worth the wait! I wish i had more hands, that way I could give it 4 thumbs up!!! And the hook-up between Yuuji & Maiko...NICE!